this is your life,

I'M FREEEEEEE.


just wanted the world to know.

stress me out.
I really want things in my life to just fall into place. It seems like right now, it's like a montage in a movie. I'm standing still and everything around me is falling apart and spinning out of control and I can't stop it or deal with it. 
the ex is flirting it up with everyone, and I have to stand there and watch. I hate it. It's rubbing in my face that he's over me and couldn't care less. It's not like he'd ever talk. But I know that I would take him back in a second, if he ever wanted too. which is BAD. 
I guess I just want that kind of relationship. The guy that makes you smile because he's nice, and makes you laugh. Makes time for you. But isn't clingy. I'm not that high maintenance, I can make things work. 

oh well. no point in getting my hopes up for something that will never happen.

i am happy.
I think I have finally found that group of friends that you stay in touch with and stay friends with for the rest of your life. I still have other amazing friends outside that group that I'll always be close with, but honestly, I can't stay unhappy long. Some things I wish I could just wipe out completely, but the rest, I'll stick with and work through.
SO just letting the world know that I am happy.
:)

i got excited today.
four whole updates.
sad thing is, im not exagerating or being sarcastic.

so am i totally retarded for being concerned that this year is almost over?
am i the only one who found this year to FLY by?
when ms gosbee was talking to me the other day, asking if i was okay to sit in front of david heckbert for another two months, it hit me.
there's only 2 months left of school. april is basically over, then there's just may and june left.
I'm donig well this semester, for the most part. I really lifted my math mark with my last 2 tests and assignments, and thank god. I think by the end of the semester, if i keep doing better, then my average will be out of the seventies, thus meaning i finish grade ten as an honour student.
mom will be so proud.. =\


it's like i've had an epiphany or something. If epiphany means what i think it means..
i just realized that stuff has HAPPENED in my life. I've been through more, experienced more, and changed a helluva lot. I'm incredibly happy and for no good reason either. Last year i'd get pissed easily, constantly fighting with mom, mary, elizabeth. but this year, fights have been low. Still happens, but not nearly as often as before.
it's insane.

i'm just a happy person i guess =]

so i'm pretty sure these last few days have been the lowest i have ever felt. not cool, at all.